Happy Birthday to the CEO of this Site

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
- Erma Bombeck

The seven ages of man: spills, drills, thrills, bills, ills, pills and wills.
- Richard J. Needham

Thanks to Facebook, I never forget the birthdays of people I don't really know.
- Andy Borowitz

Birthdays are a great time to stop and appreciate gravity. Sure, it makes things sag as you get older, but it also keeps your cake from flying all over the room so you don’t have to chase it.
- Greg Tamblyn

The number one cause of death is too many birthdays.
- OG Badoosxky

It's easier to remember your age if you don’t change it every year

- OG Badoosxky

I’ve got everything I had 20 years ago, except now it’s all lower.
- Gypsy Rose Lee

Age is a relative term. All my relatives keep reminding me how old I am.
- Melanie White

It is crazy easy to buy a birthday cake. Even if it is no one's birthday. They don't even check.
- Minor Irritation @brettminor

Gave my co-worker the Heimlich maneuver. Proving once again I'm no good at birthday gifts.
- Jamie Tighe @thejamietighe

Middle age is when you're faced with two temptations and you choose the one that will get you home by nine o'clock.
- Ronald Reagan

Middle age is when your old classmates are so grey and wrinkled and bald they don't recognize you.
- Bennet Cerf

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
- Ogden Nash

When you hit middle age, getting to second base is mainly just feeling each other for lumps.
-OG Badoosxky

I'm at the age where I have to make a noise when I bend over. It's the law.
- Andry H'Tims @Thing_Finder